Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
