butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
