Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
