I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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