Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
