I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
