i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
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