ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize