So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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