It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
