why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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