Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
