...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
