I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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