cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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