She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
