More tranny stories later!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
