I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize