if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Drunk is not a location!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
