I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Girls should come with a carfax report
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize