were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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