my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
