it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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