Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize