just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
