she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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