You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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