Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
