He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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