As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
