You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
