No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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