I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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