she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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