you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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