she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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