We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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