im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
