Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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