Sry I called you an 8
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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