I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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