I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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