My girlfriend figured out who you are.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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