JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
