mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
youre lurking in front of me
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
