we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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