this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
