We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
