Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
