if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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