you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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