How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
