we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
