just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
