I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
