Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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