I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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