non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
