Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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